To get: free TOEFL Tips Emails, then Become a Free Member
by Strictly English TOEFL Tutors on May 4, 2012
In an early scene (at the 4:40 mark) of the 1993 movie Philadelphia, Tom Hanks’ character has been illegally fired from his job and is looking for a lawyer to represent him in court. He comes to Denzel Washington’s office, and begins to tell his version of what happened. Soon, Washington’s character says, “Explain this to me like I’m a two year old.” The character’s point is that clear communication is essential for understanding complex issues, and sometimes, sophisticated language impedes clarity.
Last week’s post emphasized the importance of clear and precise intermediate English on the TOEFL exam. This week, we’re following up with a comparison of flawed advanced English and excellent intermediate English to illustrate what you’re aiming for on the TOEFL. Remember, the TOEFL is a test of communication, so clear ideas and clear expression need to be your primary focus on the exam.
Last fall , we presented a list of how TOEFL scores correspond to everyday life. Professional public speakers, such as Oprah Winfrey, correspond to a TOEFL score of 30. With that in mind, we’ve taken a sample from Oprah’s commencement speech at Howard University in 2007 and altered it somewhat, introducing the sort of errors that might easily happen on the TOEFL exam.
Here’s the example of flawed advanced English:
“The human dearth of your integrity is the most we had to offer and I would beseach you to remember what Harriet Tubman said her efforts to spirit salves of the plantation. Hariet Tubman once said that she would have liberated thousands more if only she would have convinced them they are salves. So do not be a salve to any form of selling out, maintenance you integrity it have always been, I believe, an only solution to all problems in the word and it remains the only solution.”
Although this example has polished vocabulary as well as rhetorical flair, the numerous misspellings and problems with prepositions, articles, subject/verb agreement, and sentence structure would lower the score for this passage considerably.
Here’s the version of Oprah’s passage in flawless intermediate English. It makes the same points, but in a more direct, clear manner:
“The greatest sacrifice we can make is to give up our integrity. Remember what Harriet Tubman said about her work to get slaves to freedom. She once said that she could have helped thousands more escape slavery if she could have made them realize that they are slaves. Do not sell out and become a modern slave. Keep your integrity. I believe this always has been, and always will be, the solution to the world’s problems.”
The sentences here are a bit shorter, the vocabulary is simpler, and the message is easy to understand.
Remember clarity and directness are not signs of weak English skills. They are the hallmarks of excellent intermediate English.